Blue Rose

There are many flowers in the garden
The Lord God has given
They are beautiful and magnificent
Ecstatic feeling when you smell their scent

They are very colorful and pleasing to the eyes
That can ease your burdens of breathing deep sighs
They are the sunflowers, red roses and tulips
So enticing like a kissable lips

But wait by the way, I see something very strange
Weird but interesting, noticeable even at a far range
It’s a blue rose! Wow, this is rare
It is God’s gift of tender loving care

Yes, I guess there are many flowers
But there is only one which is unique among the others
A flower that is rare and precious
So beautiful, lovely and mysterious

Whats going on?

I'm beginning to become impulsive again. And sure there is something wrong that is happening and I can't figure out what it is. Its some kind of paranoia build-up in my psyche that I could not control and I don't know why. It is as if a part of my heart has been taken from me and it's lost.

It in the morning until evening, series of call has been made but no single answer. Then, on line, series of messages sent but received only one. i don't know what is happening. Until now I feel uneasy.

Its like stress building up and start attacking my system. My guts is uneasy, my chest in nervous and i am trembling.

Please God, I know you can do something about in this concern. You are one who only know what to do and how it will going to work. Please, Have mercy.....

Reason to Live is Life's way to reason

Life is really unpredictable, it is so mysterious and very magical. We can't say this is life or that is or this; it depends from what standpoint someone is viewing and how he perceives it. Perceptions to a reality differ from various minds. It is because reality as life if taken by someone is differently viewed or perceived. Taking the Johari's window as an example; what we know and other also know, what others know but we don't know, what we know but others don't know and what we and others do not know.

That is why Socrates was right when he said "know thyself" and having self knowledge is a process, a lifetime process consisting of the 4 windows johari illustrated. and searching for ourselves it is impossible for us not to go out of our shell. We have know others; we have to go out and explore because in doing so each person, place and event adds to the self realization. We know more about ourselves when we try to reach out to people, we harness our abilities as we encounter different events and know where we can reach as we go to places.

'Knowing thyself' therefore is not a solo endeavor but it needs a community, it requires interaction and exploration. And life as it is share the same thought as that.



That is why life continue to live; for life to know the reason why.

CATA rata

Cataract is that white film-like clouds covering the eye, particularly over the lens or the iris only. I don't know how it feels to have those cloud-like substance over the eyes but having cataract in this case are not the ones with those substance.

Having cataract in this journal are those people I pertain as blind-folded persons who are overwhelmed by their position in any institution however, do not observe attitudes and behaviors as they are expected to be.

For example, a superior to scold his or her subordinate in front of a large crowd is not something that is appropriate to do. To be more particular, a school coordinator who seem to find out some errors or mistakes from a student government official to yell at him or her in front of many people is something very unprofessional. As a coordinator you have you office to settle those matters. Place yourself in that shoes, a superior over the coordinator, let say the dean or the university president to yell at you, "Hey, why do you misinformed students to watch a theater play free, then all of a sudden being charged in their accounts?!! That is corruption" How would the coordinator react? how would he/she feel about it? That is very embarrassing.

Piece of advise:
Have a personal check up of your attitude and please practice professionalism.

Dejavu

I remember when I was still in the seminary, during the assessment period, I had a weird feeling. It was already the culmination of the second year and I have reached the pick of my ability. I completed the requirements for school, not just completed but highly commendable works, I have developed my skills ready for 'on the job' training (the IIP)and all the positive traits that can be said to me by my colleagues. However, on the irony of that, I felt somehow unsatisfied, feeling that there is still lacking and missing. The same i feel right now.

I have adjusted to my new environment and the same I have surpassed the expectations and even overtook others in terms of intellectual grasping ability that is due to my experience as an edge. However, I don't wish to be so confident to the extent that I might forget that I am still in the beginning of what i am presently pursuing. Nonetheless, I can still feel the emptiness, that something that which is lacking. sometimes I feel happy whenever my soulmate is exchanging messages with me or when we are together. But when we are both busy, I feel bored, I feel uncomfortable.

If i would compare this to the similar past experience, I feel like another event or encounter might happen either for me or against me.


why?why?why?
why not?


may God be with me always.

Soulful Confessions

Life is really is unpredictable yet wonderful; simply amazing. We can't tell "Life is this." Or Life is like that or this should be and etc. It depends on the angle of which we are looking at it and from where are we looking from. In my case, its magical, mysterious and mystical.

In my new life, as my consciousness widens; as my realizations grow and progress, I can't explain, I can't rationalize and i can't believe new events were just happening.

It just began in a typical seminar. She was just then my classmate there. I asked for her cellphone number and exchanged few messages until it developed into friendship and into a feeling of being in love on my part and i guess growing into love.

But yes, life is unpredictable, we can't tell what tomorrow might bring and shall be offering in the time to come. I fear that I might be hurt again like before and might break me again into pieces if it grows deeper but turn out differently. She has the desire to serve God in a special way of doing it. She wish to have the life that i have chosen and have undergone before,; wherein i abandon it and have no plans yet of returning or changing my direction.

But for now, I must admit, I'm into this feeling. I am in love to her yet I can't give it full for I am not sure if this will last. But how can you something if you're not a hundred percent to it?

Nevertheless, loving is totally different in falling in love. I fall that is why i have this fear. i fear that i might lose again. But in loving whether i lose or not as long as she is happy in whatever she shall pass through, and if God wills it to happen. I'll just accept it. In loving reciprocity is just a consolation unlike in falling in love, there is a 'give and take.' Falling in love paralyze ones mind and reason to think of others and makes the focus only to the self. But in loving, reason, understanding and concern and intention matters and counts.

I know God is with me, he won't forsake me. He is the one who let her be my new inspiration. He was the one who gave her to me as a gift therefore, he has the power and authority to take it back from me. Nonetheless, i am grateful that God has given me a new life.

The Divine's Balancing Petition

In chemistry, (although I don't have any specialization in this subject matter), based from my little stock of knowledge, there is what students and teachers call as "Balancing Equation." In this equation, if I am not mistaken, it is the balancing of protons and electrons and other substance to have a so-called "Equilibrium." Any way, I did not intend to do chemistry here. Nevertheless my point is there is the process of balancing. Now have we ever imagine how does God answer prayers and balance them? Meaning how does he answer each individual's prayers fairly without seemingly giving an impression to the other devotee of being neglected and has favoritism?

For example, in an election of course, every candidate wishes to win a single position. We would have a common thinking that God will grant the spot to the righteous one. But if the one who won is the corrupt one, like our present situation?

Or in this case, suitor one is in love with a girl, then the girl has another suitor,plus the suitor one has a secret admirer, of course the secret admirer wants the suitor one. the girl of the two suitors have a man in her own dreams but that man wishes the secret admirer of the suitor one. another girl is in love with suitor two. How God will give an answer to each of them? If he say yes just to one of them, surely the chain would have an effect and many will be hurt. If God let the girl 1 to answer suitor one, the suitor two got hurt. The admirer of the suitor one will be hurt also. and so on and forth.

yes it is hard and complicated to comprehend especially for us humans, but for God it is all possible. Whatever his way of answering prayers, we do not know, simply He has a will for everyone, and it is the best for everyone. All we need to do is just to believe, keep faith and be strong and patient.