Soulful Confessions

Life is really is unpredictable yet wonderful; simply amazing. We can't tell "Life is this." Or Life is like that or this should be and etc. It depends on the angle of which we are looking at it and from where are we looking from. In my case, its magical, mysterious and mystical.

In my new life, as my consciousness widens; as my realizations grow and progress, I can't explain, I can't rationalize and i can't believe new events were just happening.

It just began in a typical seminar. She was just then my classmate there. I asked for her cellphone number and exchanged few messages until it developed into friendship and into a feeling of being in love on my part and i guess growing into love.

But yes, life is unpredictable, we can't tell what tomorrow might bring and shall be offering in the time to come. I fear that I might be hurt again like before and might break me again into pieces if it grows deeper but turn out differently. She has the desire to serve God in a special way of doing it. She wish to have the life that i have chosen and have undergone before,; wherein i abandon it and have no plans yet of returning or changing my direction.

But for now, I must admit, I'm into this feeling. I am in love to her yet I can't give it full for I am not sure if this will last. But how can you something if you're not a hundred percent to it?

Nevertheless, loving is totally different in falling in love. I fall that is why i have this fear. i fear that i might lose again. But in loving whether i lose or not as long as she is happy in whatever she shall pass through, and if God wills it to happen. I'll just accept it. In loving reciprocity is just a consolation unlike in falling in love, there is a 'give and take.' Falling in love paralyze ones mind and reason to think of others and makes the focus only to the self. But in loving, reason, understanding and concern and intention matters and counts.

I know God is with me, he won't forsake me. He is the one who let her be my new inspiration. He was the one who gave her to me as a gift therefore, he has the power and authority to take it back from me. Nonetheless, i am grateful that God has given me a new life.